Why am I doing this.....

My dearest Aliya,

So... You would probably wonder why I'm doing this? Its simple, really. Because I dont know until when I am going to live. It's not that I want to go early, but.. If my time comes, I want to be able to know at the very last moment of my life, that I've done everything I could possibly think of to help you face the world. They say its going to get harder everyday. And as far as I learned so far, what they say is true. What really helped me so far, is to have a strong foundation of who I really am. I believe that we need to know who we really are, the goodness inside of us, the people whom matters to us and those that once were. Our ancestors, history, are what made us who we are today. By learning our roots, we would also learn to handle today. By going back to my roots.. by going back home and find out who I really am, I was saved from being astrayed.

I have made many mistakes, had failures, difficulties, people that made them difficults, and also a lot of regrets that a lot of time, I wished I could go back in time and fix them. But we can't do that. But what we can do, is to learn from them. Always think of them as a part of learning to become someone better, every step of the way. Always remember, and have faith that everything that has happened and will happen to you, is for the best of you. And darling, remember Allah. He knows the best for you. Have faith on the path He has destined you to be. And have a lot of patience.

Darling,

I've always thought that the main thing to write in here is all about you. Your medical records, your school reports, your favourite stuff, everything, until you finally reach the time when you dont need me to remind you of things you know more than anyone else. But as i do this, I read an article by a man who misses his parent. His dad was gone when he was away. They have never been very close. They dont spend a lot of time talking to each other eventhough they did a lot of things together. When his dad finally died, he met his dad's friends and relatives he used to know, but already forgotten. When they talked about his dad and the things he used to do, he realised that there are more of him that he did not know about. His heart was aching to know about his dad, so he search everything he could find out about him. Nothing really helped much, as his parents moved a lot. The only things he had, was a stack of book his dad used to read. And that was about it.

So, I've decided to include your dad's history, and also mine. At this moment, I am not really sure how it would help you one day. But I hope when you need them, its here to be found.